Monday, October 22, 2012

Does Being Attractive Always Help?

Now, this is a bit of a tricky one. Would you rather be ravingly pretty/handsome? Or would you prefer to be attractive? What's the difference between being pretty/handsome and being attractive?
Quite a good example is a book. It might have the most beautiful cover you've ever seen, but if the story's a load of rubbish, it won't be long before the book's thrown on a shelf to gather dust.
I didn't know this chap well, but just looking at him, he wouldn't have been a contender for the best looking man in America. He was about 5'9" tall, weighed about 145 lbs., his teeth didn't blind you. One way and another, he was lacking a lot in looks. But women fell over each other to be with him. Why?
In a nutshell, he had his own unique style. You could put him in a room with any group of people, and his confidence would carry him through, no matter who these people were. He wasn't over-confident; just poised, self-assured.
Whatever you do, keep away from the 'Mr. Cool' look, especially if you try the tortured, unsmiling, sullen-faced aspect.
Smiling covers a multitude of sins. If you look someone straight in the eye and smile, you're conveying the message that; "I'm pleased to meet you and look forward to chatting. I'm confident and have no difficulty in holding whatever conversation you may like to engage in."
If you're at a party, then obviously the first thing to do is to seek out the host, (although she or he may well have admitted you), but that gives you an excellent opportunity of saying something, even if it is only; "Good evening."
Believe it or not, people at parties want to smile, so you shouldn't have any problem in chatting to a lady and receiving a smiling response.
You remember my telling you about that chap who was very attractive? Now, I must admit, I only watched him in action once, but there was nothing forced, indeed half the time, he didn't lead the conversation. Someone came up with a subject and he simply followed along. Yes, he was highly intelligent, which helps, and there's always the question; Does being attractive always help?
I don't think it's a pre-requisite, but it certainly can't hurt. Really, to all intents and purposes, we're talking about charisma. Preachers are often shown as examples of those who are charismatic, but I don't think this is necessarily the case. Yes, they work the crowd, but they're preaching to the choir. Not only that, but they're given to bellowing like bulls -- so the congregation works itself up to match.
But then we reverse the question


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